Home | Message Board | Videos | Calendar | Gallery | Reports | 4x4Tech | Classifieds | Outdoor Recreation | Island4x4 Store |Links | About Us | Contact Us

Ok, now that I have you scratching your heads......and possibly some other places I won't mention......this one is for us Chimps.... Grizzled Rock Monkeys can go back to your corner of the cage where you can groom each other and assert your position of dominance in the troop.

In today's issue of the Rock Monkey News v1.0:

Bumpstopectomy
Subject - '87 Suzuki Samurai, 235s, bone stock
Owner - adolescent Brown Faced Grease Monkey

With the recent purchase of my Chimp-mobile......
I have become very agitated.....bouncing off the walls, rattling the chain link fence and throwing feces at my companions (junior Howler Monkeys).

The reason for all this ruckus you ask? Quite simple really.......I've deduced it to be the highly contagious Limitus-Flexy Virus.

In order to rid myself of this horrible affliction, I must begin a series of operations to the Chimp-mobile. The first operation was the Swaybar-ectomy which netted little results. After some careful consideration it was determined that the potential benefit of removing the swaybar was thwarted by bumpstops.

Bumpstops are unsightly growths that occur on most domestic and foreign Chimp-mobiles at the time of birth. Removing these aberrations can be easy or difficult depending on the particular patient in question and the experience level of the Monkey performing the operation (a Monkey performing an operation?.....ouch!).

Removing the bumpstops on the front took less than 15 minutes with an impact wrench (not needed, but makes it a lot faster) including prep time.

The rears on the other hand are a bit of a pain (ever heard of a "PITA Nut", they can be numerous and quite virulent! They attach themselves all over your Chimp-mobile like barnacles on rocks). The rear bumpstops are held in place under the U-bolts and in order to get them out you need to remove the U-bolts. That took a few hours. This monkey was working alone......often monkeys working in groups are more successful.

Lone Backyard Grease Monkeys are susceptible to attack by various predators and therefore may become extinct in the not too distant future. Contact the PITA Group to see how you can help save the LBG Monkey.

Backing up a little here; when I first bought the Zuk, I put one tire up on a rock to see how well it flexed (or more correctly, how poorly it flexed)(no tree swinging for this Chimp).

I then removed the swaybar and tried the rock again. I didn't notice any difference. If there was any, it was too small for my primate vision to detect. This is when I noticed the growths protruding from the frame in the front, and the axles in the rear.

I took the Chimp-mobile out for a little playful exercise in the local Rock Monkey pen otherwise known as the Sooke Hills. Myself along with a mixed group of Chimps, Howlers, and Grizzled Rock Monkeys (including a certain rare species, the Fozzy Monkey, of which only one mating pair are known to exist at this time) headed out to do The Loop around Crabapple lake.

With only the swaybar removed the flex was terrible, but the little chimp managed to hop and skip it's way through most of the challenges without too much effort.

After a successful Bumstopectomy, I went out to play in the pen the following weekend with another group of misfit monkeys. This time playing a little harder, taking a few different paths and tossing the odd banana at each other (I had a few rocks tossed at me by a rather ornery, and large Orangutan driving a blue Toyota Chimp-mobile).

This time I found it easier to traverse the same hill climbs and pound my fists over the same rocks and other play things.

The flex was greatly improved.....to the point were my 235s were rubbing profusely when at full compression. I now have nice shinny markings inside the wheel wells to show me where to swing my BFH. I also have some extra siping in my tires for increased traction.

Far from cured of this disease......I'm well on my way to being a healthy mature Rock Monkey. Removal of the swaybar and bumpstops has increased my play time, and positioned myself a little more prominently in the troop's hierarchy.

If you have a stock Chimp-mobile that is in need of some flex-appeal.....don't be afraid to investigate some minor operations of your own.

Next installment of the Rock Monkey News; Bionic Surgery - Spring and Shackle Lift.

jo-jo
(whoo whoo Whoo haaa haa HaaaAAK HAAAAAAK)